<This is an incomplete article>
The date today is June 22, 2008 and it is already 12:30am. I have no intention on writing this blog. It just came out of mind and thought of posting so I won’t forget it. This is related to the guy I fell in love with two years ago.
After a not-so-successful relationship with two unbelievers, I promised myself that I will only date Christian guys. When I was still young, I had a few crushes on cute boys on our church. But I know its just infatuation, nothing serious about it.
When college came, I met a guy in a chatroom. I don’t remember whether its me or him who PM, but that’s the start of our friendship. I gave him my number cellphone number and later on m landline. He would call me at night back then and we would talk (mostly him talking). Before, its just purely friendship between us.
Then everything got busy and we cut our communication. He had his OJT and I had mine.
After my resignation from my first job, I was able to resume my communication with him. Since I have no job yet and him still looking also, we were able to communicate again like before. He would call
I remember during the typhoon Milenyo, there was a power loss for almost a week. Since he could call me over the landline, I called him on my cellphone just to ask how he was. I also remember that I used to ask him, “what is the level of our friendship compare to your barkadas?” (I was just doin some lambing to him, hehe) And he would reply “iba ka eh, parang special bibingka na may itlog na pula ibabaw”. That would make me laugh and I love it when he do that.
After two years of chatting, texting and talking over the phone, I decided to meet him. It was the day of my birthday but I never told him, I want to surprise him.
After that meeting, everything mellowed down between us. He wouldn’t call me.
Honestly, I felt so insecure when that happened. I always thought that that happened because im ugly. If only im pretty, he would still pursue that special thing between us. But I also checked up on myself and realized that I also did change. But not my feelings, I was just scared to show my true feelings for him. I wanted him to initiate it if he feels the same way. So I mellowed down to see what he will do. Maybe I insecured him? Maybe not?
Then last May 26, 2008, i watched Hillsong’s concert when he bumped into me. Well, he saw me walking then he bumped on me, intentionally. Gosh, that very same moment, I wanted to hug him and tell him how much I missed him. But of course, i still can control myself and not show my real feelings. Besides, he was with his brother and friend, that would look awkward if I do that.
Well, whatever happened two years ago, I hope and pray that things will go back to the time when we were so close. I really miss him and I wish things would go back as it was before.